Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2005 October
2005 September
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
My Links
Gill Bob Blog
Jp Blog
Beka Blog
Kyra official Site Fuck Yeah!!
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| hmmmmmmmm drunkenness |
| 04.25.06 (12:39 am) [edit] |
|
god damn im wasted
n ths keyboard is so shit
and rly do love you
and i am truly sorry for what ive done
if i could control myself more i would have
but i cant
thats why im this way
and i cant get out of it
its not physical its mental
and if i try any harder i may die
i just dont want to live without you
ive treid to show you but you dont seem to take it in
i see you and i want to do so many things that i cant put it down in words
i just want you to be happy
but id raher it was wid me
how do you suppress feelings??
|
|
|
| |
| ok so the truth about me |
| 04.12.06 (11:51 pm) [edit] |
|
ok im an alcoholic - i admit it
the problem is that ive always prided myself on bein the person hus there to help people
but who helps the helper???
|
|
|
| |
| if i go on much longer i may breakdown like a old campervan in the outback |
| 04.05.06 (9:59 pm) [edit] |
|
i rly cant deal with wots goin on at the mo
im an alcoholic with a shit life and no prospects
actually fuk it i cant open up at the mo mebbe anuva bottle of wine
|
|
|
| |
| god now i no y ppl get addicted 2 temazepan |
| 03.29.06 (11:46 pm) [edit] |
|
ive just had 1 n i feel rly hyper and awake
but my inner voice has shut off
i cant hear my thoughts but i can feel them
the world around me feels different
like on butane in a way
i can feel the beat of everything
but at the same time im more focused than ive ever been i can concentrate on the tv my music and type this without any strain
the wiring inside me has changed
i feel like a person playing a computer game
like a puppet on a string
i cant actually feel my body ne more im not even numb
its more than that
i can move but the movements dont have any feeling to them
i can barely feel my fingers tappin the keys
this is the weirdest feeling ive had since the after effect of sleepin pills
if anything i feel the complete honesty that ecstacy brings
i could talk about the worst memories i have and not feel any sadness for them
i dont even feel like i am a person i feel like an entity pulling the cosmic strings
hmmmmm.....
|
|
|
| |
| Have you ever cried so hard you just died?? |
| 03.25.06 (11:44 pm) [edit] |
|
i cant take it ne more
im startin 2 realise that i dnt rly have friends....
i just know people
everyone i thought was my friend has turned tail and ran
"with flowers in her hair i gazed upon with dead lovers eyes, she never looked so good and i never felt so right"
i cant stand to feel this way ever since xmas my life has just gone 2 shit
every breath i take i just wish it would be my last
i mean if you guys dont wanna b associated with me you could just say so and not pretend
"What a beautiful wedding says a bridesmaid to a waiter, yes but what a shame the poor grooms bride is a whore"
if i died right now i dont think many people would actually notice
if anything id probably just become another piece of juicy gossip
"you're hiding something cuz its burning through your eyes i try to get it out but all i hear from you is lies"
i feel like im just trapped in a box alone
havnt ne of you noticed how ive bin or havnt u even cared
i try 2 give you all the clues but you cant even b bothered 2 take them in
have you even wondered y i can drink loads more than i used 2
"i'm an angel with broken wings who's poisoning the night with love from me to you"
im scaring myself at the moment i just feel like ive bin split into 2 ppl
one is keeping it all together and pretending everything is all right keeping me sane keeping me whole
the other has completly lost it and cant even wake up without wanting to cry and break things
i just wish someone would show that they care and actually care because i just seem 2 b surrounded by fakes people who will hug you whilst sticking a knife in your back
"and i can't make it on my own beacuse my heart is in ohio, so cut my wrists and black my eyes so i can fall asleep tonight or die, because you kill me you know you do you kill me well you like it too and i can tell"
spare me just 3 last words
|
|
|
| |
| so is this what you call gettin away well tell me wot u got away with |
| 03.19.06 (9:07 pm) [edit] |
|
god damn pain is so fukin hrad
i cant cope much longer
ive thrown away the only thing i care about
and the only thing that was holdin me 2geva
n now ive lost it
theres no munky ne more
|
|
|
| |
| so is that wot u cal a get away |
| 02.28.06 (1:00 am) [edit] |
|
well tell me wot u gotaway with cuz
i just dont know hu u r ne more u just change every time i look at you and it kills me inside to see you waste away with every second
you just dont get it do you
i love you unconditionally but u just do the best u can to throw it backin my face
when i realise wot we could of had i realise that iim giving up me for you
i just cant take this ne more you dive me crazy and i cant stop it you just infuriate me in evry way you can when will you learn is me and wot u let happen is your fault if you were hu you were supposed to be then you would realise that you may be fukd up but im more sensitive than u when will you realise that even your best m8's think you lie out of your teef and that all you do is try to wind me up every 1 but you sees that it is wrong andf if you were my gf youd see that too but you claim its part of you in defence but no gf would put ne1 thro this pain if they truly loved you they would see that it fuks me over and would stop but u just do it
is it for the attention
is it cuz u love to see me writhe this way or do u just love the way i come to u all the time
u nvr tell me nefin its just all bullshit u prefer my m8s 2 me is there actually a ny point in holdin on??
can a fin thats already dead be brought back to life??
|
|
|
| |
| randomness |
| 10.03.05 (10:27 pm) [edit] |
"who's sleeping on my side of the bed tonight??,
have you ever cried so hard baby you just died??,
With flowers in her hair,
gazed upon with dead lovers eyes,
she never looked so good,
and I never felt so alive"
atreyu - right side of the bed
so random right now
cant seem to make up my mind between the right thing to do and the right thing for me
shit its so bad
headfucking to hell
|
|
|
| |
| fear and loathing in windermere |
| 10.01.05 (6:13 pm) [edit] |
high
inexplicably
nerds - good
sugar hehe
coffee
cant take much more
but sugar is so addictive
i cant rly think right now
ive checked outta reality for far too long
but i still need 2 stay here
take stock
i have alcohol here somewhere
need 2 find it
need a bigger buzz
can barely see
damn
loggin out
|
|
|
| |
| hmmmm |
| 09.05.05 (2:30 am) [edit] |
if the foundations of a relationship are lies then what is left???
wow i havnt blogged in ages n now 2 blogs in 1 nite
|
|
|
| |
| argh why does life have 2 b so complicted |
| 09.04.05 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
|
i feel that ure tellin the truth but ure past makes me doubt it i mean the shit uve done b4 its not much of a streach of the imagination 2 belive wot im hearin but i love u so much i dnt want to i just cant decide
|
|
|
| |
| hmmm tequila it makes me happy |
| 07.06.05 (12:06 am) [edit] |
i havnt felt this happy n content in a long time
i feel like ive finaly achieved sumfin
but there r still ppl i wanna kill, i cant bring myself 2 h8 u but i want 2
mebbe it was the tequila but i reckon u were just spittin the truth
i just didnt expect it this close 2 home
i mean maccin like that wen u no whats goin on
id nvr do that 2 u
but its twice uve done it 2 me
n it hurts more this time
i mean were sposed 2 be crew
wm n all that
n the wmb
i no i saw the potential in u but i nvr expected u 2 do it
its just unwritten rules
and now ppl r gonna want 2 kill me more n more
it just happened u shud understand it was the same way wid us
u cant control it
n u destroyed it ne way
2 days 4 fuks sake
|
|
|
| |
| i rly cant b assed ne more |
| 06.30.05 (9:58 pm) [edit] |
i rly rly rly am far too tired
n ive drunk far 2 much coffee - 8 big cups full yep my big costa cup
ive spent bout 9 1/2hrs 2day wrkin on my coursework n im nearly done - bout 2 or 3 more hours 2moz n i shud b finished
n then all i have 2 do is decide what i want to do
but i rly do fukin h8 coursework it depresses me more than nefin
i rly cant b assed tryin ne more i know ill never ammount to nefin so fuk it
|
|
|
| |
| wonderance is a great thing |
| 06.29.05 (1:11 am) [edit] |
|
you never really come down to see me of your own accord but now you seem to be in bowness more than i am
|
|
|
| |
| fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck....... (would carry on but i think my arm would end up |
| 06.26.05 (8:01 pm) [edit] |
you think you know ppl but then you dont
god damnit
i fink i may need anuva beer
well it helsp to explain alot
man i shud b asleep by now but i just can bring myself to
|
|
|
| |
| random thoughts of a far too tired mind |
| 06.26.05 (7:53 pm) [edit] |
i really wonder how much im hurting you
or are you hurting yourself
i see no problem but you seem to
i reckon it could be the way you're acting thats screwing you over
i used to think i could see straight through you
but now im not so sure
ive found out about the lies i believed were truths
but theres something there taht tells me youre not telling the truth or at least not all of it
but then again you're more like her than you think
but there are alot of differences on the surface
but deep down you're the same
well almost
i just feel so tired of this cycle
i just want to break out and find myself again
or ami just uncomfortable with the "me" ive become
i just cant b assed 2 fink ne more
|
|
|
| |
| tired so very tired |
| 06.22.05 (7:37 pm) [edit] |
im so tired mentally n physically
ive finally found out whats goin on
i know that its not supposed 2 b like this but u could have been more open with me
"All Downhill From Here"
You’re hiding something, ‘cause it’s burning through your eyes
I try to get it out, but all I hear from you are lies
[Pre-Chorus:]
And I can tell you’re going through the motions
I figured you were acting out your part
Once again, we’re playing off emotion
Which one of us will burn until the end?
[Chorus:]
Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it’s all downhill from here
And it’s all downhill from here
Your good intentions slowly turn to bitterness
Reoccurring episodes with each and every kiss
(Let’s go!)
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
And I can’t believe you pulled it off again
Or notice till it all sets in
You’ll deny it ‘til you’re at your bitter end
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
And you keep pulling me down!
(you're pulling me down)
(pulling me down)
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it’s all downhill from here
And it’s all downhill from here
|
|
|
| |
| hehehehe |
| 06.19.05 (10:25 pm) [edit] |
feelin pretty drunk
had a great day
millies birthday party was btr than i fort
sat n chatted about games wid a random dude 4 ages
its rly weird down here
so chilled
n its so god damn hot
its 1/2 midnight n im still boiling
spent last night out round brighton
had a fun time
didnt get id'd
oh the joys of hangin round wid 30 yr olds
still cant get over how different it feels down here
its like a whole other world
its just so chilled
and u dnt get dodgy looks for being slightly alternative cuz really there is no normal here
i mean i saw some ppl doing some kind of kung-fu dancing in the park
it was well kewl
i really wish id of had a go
ne way id btr go
ive got 2 get a train at like 9 or 10 2moz
damnitt
cyall l8r
|
|
|
| |
| fire fire burn burn fire fire |
| 06.07.05 (11:18 pm) [edit] |
he he made sum fire sticks 2day
well fun
n im better than i fort i wud b
just need a real set now n then ill b on my way
hmm could make laods of cash in the summer he he
stupid tourists nad theyll never know how easy it is
i mean im talentless and i can do it so ne1 can uve just got 2 have the balls 2 and a small ammount of dexterity and flexibility
all ive got 2 learn now is how 2 flip it round my limbs and how to roll wid it
muhahahahahaha
watch out i may burn you wen im drunk
|
|
|
| |
| woohooo |
| 06.06.05 (11:00 pm) [edit] |
yay gots my coputer runnin faster agen lol
im such a dumbass sometimes
n its was rly simple
if ne of you find that your computer is running rly rly slow the its simple
click start - run
and then type msconfig
then select selective startup and then click on the startup tab and select disable all and then just tick what you want to run
easy huh??
well thast my random fact of the day over
"Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit"
|
|
|
| |
| damn late nights |
| 06.05.05 (11:26 pm) [edit] |
god feel so harsh now for leaving
hope its all ok
but u know
damn had fun the last few days
i just cant believe how good its felt
damn my mind fades out when i try 2 think over shit
rly wish id gone 2 c a few uva ppl tho
just 2 straighten shit out b4 its 2 l8
|
|
|
| |
| 4:45 am |
| 06.04.05 (3:27 am) [edit] |
yes that is right i am officially blogging at stupid o-clock in the mornin
and i just cant fink
well i can but it hurts to
cuz all ic an fink bout is pain
the pain i cause to others
the pain i can see in store 4 me
and the pain of existance
its rly nt worth it
i can tell next time im gonna see u ure gonna b pissed off at me
so fuck if ive gone 2 uva ppl
i still class u as a m8
but this party shits just got blown outta proportion
its nt hard 2 change 1 day outta 3
i no i shudnt b bringin this up but hey
its food 4 my soul
well gettin it out is
(why wont you look me in the eyes, is there somethign there that might hurt me?)
its all just made my head squilookled
on the upside ive spent the entire nite goffed up
oh ye
cheers 2 caz n ronnie 4 helpin me
i shud have a pic 2 show u all 2moz
i look well funny
i went the whole hog 4 once n all
ijust wish i could do that in other parts of my life
god damnnit
|
|
|
| |
| blarghhh |
| 05.31.05 (10:57 pm) [edit] |
i really cant b bothered ne more
it takes 2 much effort even 2 exist
buti keep fumbling along
just trying to help ppl b4 i help myself
(well there is no hope left 4 me ne way)
i mean how many ppl can screw themselves over through caring for others
not many
but i always do
and even if i dnt help others i screw up
and ppl can c it all in me
i mean its nt that hard its all on the surface
n thats y it confuses u
because im so open about it all
|
|
|
| |
| same old shit - new day |
| 05.28.05 (12:16 am) [edit] |
i knew it you didnt have 2 say it - i could c it all
you have your specialities n i have mine
ne way i currently look like a japanese transexual
ive had my hair cut and straightened n im wearin far too much eyeliner n my lungs ache
oh god i h8 havin colds
my mind isnt rly here at the mo
just fukin fone me y dnt u
cuz heres where i find out what sgoin on
n u say ure so mature but....
u just cant say shit 2 me wid out goin all 12yr old on me
its stupid
i cant take all the bitchiness n backstabbin thats goin on n i know it is
we vowed wed b m8s
n u just throw it all away cuz of ure paranoia
id budge if u spoke 2 me but u dnt u just bitch
u have a fone 2 pick it up
its the same charge either way
just tlk 2 me so we can wrk it out
|
|
|
| |
| b4 i start i am very very drunk |
| 05.27.05 (2:59 am) [edit] |
oh god im drunk (in case u hadnt guessed)
thats all i seem 2 b doin recently
i fel myself turnin bk 2 the old me minus weed
(but it helps you cope)
and ive seen evry way out of this situation
(but you'll always be alone)
and theres no way forward
(but theres no way back)
i just cant seem to get over it
(but is that what you're clingin to??)
i rly cant make up my own mind
(so others make it up for you and you get hurt)
but isnt that life??
(have you ever known any other way?)
if i shift then i lose everything
(but you've done it b4 y nt again??)
ive seen it play ou a million times in my ehad and no1 come out unscathed
(but can you let them get hurt??)
i can c it all in all of yuor eyes without even looking at them
(this gift is a curse)
i cant take it much longer
(but if you keep on going you keep others going)
(is it really living when youre only keeping others alive?)
can you live with your own actions??
can you face the reality of your own truth
can you live for tomorrow and risk today??
can you live for today without a tomorrow?
can you see the light at the end of the tunnel
can you take your own furure in your own hands
can you ever be trully happy without complications
oh btw i had a typo on 1 of my last blogs my parties on the 24th n if you cant deal wid it then you rly can just fuxk off al togetehr cuz that is a compromise
|
|
|
| |
|
My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, Which Battle Royale student are you?, is You are Kiriyama
Take the quiz: "what kind of drug are you? (includes pictures)"
weed.
you are weed.you are laid back, relaxed and outgoing.
My Kitten is Whiskers DaVinci.
Take The fluffy kitten name generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
My insanely stupid emo name is forget my heart because I want to believe in us.
Take The "If Your Name Was An Emo Song... Generator Thingy" today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Take the quiz: "Your Drug Personality..."
Weed ;)
Ahh your a stoner ((maybe we should talk))... you are truly a unique person. You are prolly a very smart person, but in your own way. You are close with your friends... sometimes ignorant people will get in the way and think that your a big looser, but thats not how you are, you just like to look at the world from a different perspective, and you like to giggle alot - but who the fuck doesnt??Maybe you have some personal issues going on, but thats part of life - shit will work out. If not, then there is always the option of staring a marijuana farm!!!!
Take the quiz: "Serial Killer Quiz"
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
you kill assholes; lots of assholes! HOORAY for You!!!!
you are darkslateblue
#483D8B |
Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.
Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz |
Take the quiz: "Is you cool?"
Ultimate Fuck up
You do anything and everything possible to alter your current state of mind. Fuck better safe than sorry. You'll be too fucked up to worry about that later anyway!!! Try to stop spending all of your money on drugs Biotch!!
Take the quiz: "How emo are you?"
Holy Shit Your Emo
Holy shit you actually are emo! Congratulations on not being a poser.
Take the quiz: "What Alcoholic drink are you"
mixed drink
you have a nice drink after a hard days work with your co-workers
Take the quiz: "What Kind of Music Are You? :::pics:::"
Emo
You are all about yourself. You're a lover and when things don't go your way you become depressed. Chances are you're a very nice and likeable person but most people don't see that in you. You endulge in writing poetry and music and perhaps art. You're all about being loved and sometimes it gets to the point that your love becomes selfishness.
Take the quiz: "Are you a NECROPHILIAC, a RAPEST, or a CANNIBAL?"
RAPEST
You like it when other people are afraid of you. You like the thought of having massive power over someone, especially sexually. You are probably a sex fiend of some sorts and have some weird fucking fetishes. You were either raped when you were little, very confused by sex, or turned down a lot in high school. Whatever it was something in your head makes you hate the opposite sex. You feel the need that if someone says no to have sex with you they have to pay for it. Also the thought of someone begging you to stop and get off makes you want to fuck them harder... you strange fuck you... stay away from the neighbors children please...
Take the quiz: "How will you commit suicide?! (PICS!!!)"
ODing
You will over dose on medication that probably doesn't belong to you. Your sad and you feel alone in a cruel world where you are forgotten about.Live another day, exists, if not just to piss people off.
Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have?"
Scared
Your eyes are scared. Your eyes are scared of pain, or rejection. You know how much it hurts to lose someone u cared for, but in return they dumped you like a sack of potatoes! Someday you will find your special friend, or lover, so dont stay hidden too much. You have also seen much misery when it comes to guy too, so you pefer to keep it safe, and keep your heart locked up from everyone guy that seems to be interested. You dont wanna go through anymore pain....
|
